a raging bolt of anger
i've decided to drop my student. say goodbye.. sayonara..ciao.. wateva it is. his mother is a bitch.. lamenting that i always leave early. damn you ... i've been told that each session is for 1.5 hours... but she insisted it's 2. right.. you pay me peanuts.. and expect me to produce miracles? ho ho ho.
no way.
well.. fortunately i don't love money or need them that much to sacrifice my dignity for this. she's putting the blame on me because her son has failed yet another english test. hmmm.. oops. sorry.. that's really not my problem. i did all i could.. so... sayonara! i was so angry my mum bought gyoza to appease my anger. my father and her had wanted to quit long time ago for the mum was so bitchy but i was the one who didn't mind.. right.. now i'd rather scrimp and save than go back and suffer.
kudos to my determination.
i've finally found that little music theme which opened the movie,
a tale of two sisters! it's official name in korean is read as
jang hwa, hong ryun.. i had to look up a dictionary...
jang hwa stands for boots... weird huh... and
hong ryun is "red lotus". i guess the boots and the red lotus thing is trying to create the image, the scene of where the sisters played around their old, big house... i guess.
the song's really nice.. listening to it.. puts me in a state where i can almost imagine myself dancing slowly in the wind... on a grassland... enjoying myself... it brings out a very ironic statement against the tragic storyline of the movie. the theme's named
lullaby by the way.. no it doesn't put me to sleep.. but it does soothe... if you don't recall the bloody scenes of the show. haha...
i'm recently very into musical themes from soundtracks.. gives a lot of space for imagination.
listening to: jang hwa, hong ryun o.s.t. -- lullaby
music to the ears.
that will NOT apply when i'm playing my cello... ooooh.. my notes keep going off-key. argh.. a problem i never met during my days when i did the flute.. but i'm getting the hang of it.. with zhengmei coaching me.. haha.. so pressurizing..soooo pressurizing. i'm pretty pressured into producing results..FAST. cuz i changed instrument...without much blessings.. ho ho ho...
well anyway.. while waiting for some seniors for dinner... which took so long that zhengmei started pulling a long face cuz she's sooo hungry.. a senior came up to us and asked me why zhengmei and i didn't show up for the orchestra practice...we were practising outside all the while. i explained to him that i didn't cuz my cello skills were not up to standard while zhengmei didn't cuz she never saw the scores and needed some time to familiarize.. i was pretty alarmed that he just came up and asked. hmmm.. hopefully he didn't think that we were out to skip it or something...though we turned up pretty late... oh ho ho..
anyway dinner was good.. though we were sorta like forced into a chatting session with some other freshies and seniors, planning for the activities for our anniversary celebrations. some other freshie was so excitedly planning everything..she even had a "game book" sorta thing.. wow.
zhengmei, huiyi and i just stoned. we were going into this anti-social mode. previously, we declined all offers to sit with them. i mean.. i'd rather sit somewhere else alone than get stuck in this very cramp space. it doesn't make sense. eventually, we politely bidded farewell... off to freedom!!!
to think i was once the welfare leader of rvco.. coming up with all the games stuffs. zhengmei and huiyi suggested that i should help.. but i was like.. .no way.. i'm WAY too jaded now to come up with such things. and to express my dislike for that freshie w/o anyone knowing.. zhengmei and i had to converse in japanese.. well.. so bad huh.. talking bad behind people's back...
oh well.. it's just us. what can you do? what can ANYONE do?
muah hahaha
listening to: sweety -- pai dui
hmmmm...thoughtful
well well well well well...what can i say?
basically nothing.
today... i don't know. i didn't think about it then. it's only now that i thought about it. i mean...recall or something.
i felt... a little hurt. well.. i'm not complaining or anything. i'm just... recalling what i thought.
i was alone... so... i wanted to get someone to accompany me.
so i asked if she was free... i asked if i could go find her... but she never replied.
oh well... i can't blame anyone.
i was okay with myself.. i mean..being with myself alone. but there was a tinge of being forsaken.
i'd better get used to it.
listening to: all in ost -- all in theme (orchestra version)
a tale of two sisters
*warning: spoilers ahead!*
i love this poster... totally...absolutely... this poster is a work of art. drenched in blood... it presents a kind of twisted beauty.. which in my eyes... is entirely a piece of artwork.
the show.. which i'm too lazy to go into details here... is.. well.. shocking at parts. it has a nice twist to it...and the fact that everything was plain hallucinated by su-mi (the long hair girl, im su jeong) is pretty much... intriguing. looking back.. there are actually many clues which can actually prove this... su-yeon (moon geun yeong) has been dead for so long.. and it actually does fit in...
im su jeong (left) is btw 23...my god. moon geun yeong is 16.
but i don't get the parts on the ghosts....hmm.. why do they appear? why did the script arrange the girl who visited them to have an epilepsy attack.. hopefully i spelled it correctly.. what meaning does it carry? i love the last part... when the stepmother walked into the house.. looking at who's now to the audience the stepmom herself.. and she said "su-mi ah". then...the stepmom as seen by the audience is now su-mi herself. everything comes to light.. nice.
unfortunately.. like the question i raised.. this show is plagued with doubts.. to me at least. do watch. haha...im su-jeong is pretty cool.
ah..today i had such a great time printing notes at the arts fac comp cluster.. ho ho ho.. it's cheap and fast! i'm going to print EVERYTHING there. hehe.. and i finally found my
all in ost! haha.. downloaded it and am indulging in it. i hope i'll be able to find the opening music of
a tale of two sisters... it's very melodious... with a little hint of tragedy....very nice.
also.. i've started on a new chinese short mystery novel on my chinese diary. do give it a shot k? haha...
listening to: all in ost -- all in theme (orchestra version)
queue
threw away that big old track shoes i always wore
and changed into that pair of new high heels i just bought
i'm no longer that little kid you always call me
you said you wanna go shopping in the afternoon...
and karaoke in the night...
ok... i'll definitely say "ok"...
though i'm nobody to you
i'll be with you all the way
and then.. unwittingly... love...
and then.. unwittingly... me...
accompanying you to buy a t-shirt for her
you don't know i'm feeling so awful
when you two start quarrelling
you don't know i'm secretly cheering within me
she's not by your side...
no one to defend now...
will you let me break the rules?
drinking the water you poured for me...
you don't know how sweet i felt
seeing how nice you are to me...
you don't know that i'm secretly dreaming...
so how far back in the queue i am in your world?
because i'm so in love in you...
i guess i can only quietly stand in line...
listening to: sweety -- pai dui
nostalgia.
it may not seem like such a bad thing all the time.
yesterday night... after a tedious session of orchestra practice.. i still can't really find my notes on the cello that well yet. heh.. it almost seemed like heaven to me to be able to go for dinner.. i was so very hungry. huiyi and i skipped lunch to register for our social home visits at the computer centre. but we were quite apprehensive about it at first.. for we could not be sure that the comp centre was open for all.. haha.. eventually we went in... got myself a pretty sucky timeslot (inevitable) and went for practice late! haha....
well... after practice.. while waiting for the bus, i got a message from zhengmei.. turns out she came back to the studio to get some stuffs.. and voila.. i rang her up.. and we proceeded to meet yingyi and liling for dinner at clementi. anyway.. on the bus...there was this two person we knew.. i swear one of them who has this very... unexplainable kinda look in his eyes whenever he sees me... ewww.. sends creeps down my neck... *brrrr*
it's such a pity that yingyi and liling's in ntu... it's been so long since all of us got together... cuz we were pretty close back in the sec sch days.. and esp. since all of us were in the ex-co. haha... over dinner, we shared a lot of experiences, caught up with what's happening in each other's life... and basically just had a great time! we met up at around 8.15pm and before we knew it.. .it was 11.30pm! haha... time just passes so fast when you're having a good time.
well.. after i got home.. realized my siblings were watching
lord of the rings: the two towers on dvd.. unwilling to miss legolas in action.. i dilly-dallied quite a bit before i bide farewell to my idol and went for a shower.. also caught a bit of the preview of
return of the king.. my god.. it's even more spectacular and totally dwarfed its predecessors! i can't wait for december... my legolas!! *wolf-whistle*
but actually my favourites from the show has to be arwen and galadriel...should anyone not remember galadriel.. she's the elf queen. hehe.. arwen's really beautiful and i like her with pointy ears.. and galadriel. .ah.. she looks so much like a queen... cate blanchett.. she's got this very elegance and poise...
nice.
listening to: w-inds. -- night flight
a loss of conciousness
today.. i clocked an amazing 13 hours in sleep. wow.. that's quite a feat... considering that normally.. i would get less than.. say... 7 hours. muah ha ha ha ... a desperate attempt to alleviate my dark eyerings. but...of course.. to enjoy such long hours of undisturbed sleep...something must be sacrifice in exchange for it.. cruelties of life. sigh...
and the winner.. my social work lecture at 10am.
oopsss... it's only the second week of lectures and i've skipped my lecture! haha... anyway.. it was because huiyi wasn't attending... she woke up late... called at at 8.55am... haha..she was still at home.. and she lives at the other end of the island. hmmmm... considering the fact that i was so BLOODY tired and she wasn't going to be around.. plus the fact that the lecturer probably won't go too far beyond the lecture presentation slides... i jumped at the chance of standing the lecturer up! as if he would even find out in the first place..
well..so.. much of today was spent in my bed... my god.. sleep never felt so good. so there goes my resolution to do my
a study in scarlet.... i'm so.. wasted today. haha.. and i realize that i still have a load of things not done yet!! my psychology assignment... my jap homework.... my social visits registration....
sigh.. sigh.. gotta do all that later... my god. save my life ba.
i just downloaded w-inds.' latest single's PV.. my god.. ryuichi's haircut's really nice.. looks just like the permed one kim ha neul sported in the korean drama
romance.. though i dun think ryu permed it. .just cut til like that i guess.. i'm going to get it man..
listening to: w-inds. -- love is message
a wonderous.. journey.
if there even is such a word. muah ha hah a..
i'm tired and all dead beat. 3 lectures in one shot. 5 hours of pure slacking. 2.5 hours of orchestra practice. my gawd.
psychology.. .being my first lecture of the day... at 8.00 am (!) is a killer. literally. today...we learnt all about how the brain affects us psychologically. hmmm... it's quite a bio thing... all the neurons... action potential.. frontal lobes of the brain.. alzhemier... parkinson... schizophrenia... it's quite an overload... i was furiously making notes... and my lecture notes are like..so bloodily filled with my scribblings.... a last-ditch attempt to stay awake. hahaa.. but i totally disgraced myself by answering stupidly to the dr. cha's question... man. kill me. someone.. anyone.
then came crime fiction. .my god.. as usual.. i just HAD to sleep. it's like a ... by default kinda behaviour... something must be wrong with some neurons inside me. haha.. okie. that's crap.. anyway.. today we touched on bao zheng and sir arthur conan doyle's
a study in scarlet... i've never been a great fan of sherlock holmes... but for the sake of not failing any modules.. and totally crushing the chance to jump at an honour's degree though it really won't happen anyway... i've borrowed the text from christine.. and .. will faithfully start to do my readings.. argh.
japanese...was boring as usual.. cuz despite me not having had any formal education in the language.. some basic stuffs... thanks to the prolonged exposure to jpop, doramas and anime/mangas... i've mastered some really simple one.. or some complicated ones too. haha.. whatever. so basically.. up til now.. japanese lecture's gonna be REALLY sianz. anyway... i got to know this girl, jacqueline.. a third year computing student. ..taking jap purely for fun.. she was from sa! haha.. what a coincidence.. she's all alone in the lecture.. so we talked quite a bit. haha. .she's got a proficiency of up to level 5 in german. my goodness...
then... rotting time!! huiyi and i went to clementi's macs for lunch. god knows why but i really have this craving for macs this recent period. anyway.. .for a full 4 hours..we sat there.. talk about everything.. orchestra.. .homework.. korean dramas.. japanese stars.. haha.. we are beginning to really finish all available topics. gotta find more soon.
then we met zhengmei.. who was finally persuaded by me to attend the orchestra practice.. i feel so accomplished! haha.. i was having a hard time holding my bow... drawing it 90 degrees perpendicular to the strings... and finding the notes with my left hand.. now.. my fingers are sore.. my arm's tired and my wrists.... really tired. hahaha..
i got home to a horrible dinner.. roasted duck and tofu. my god. how can they EVER come together.
listening to: cardcaptor sakura -- catch you catch me
ooooh
....what i feel now about this henna tattoo i got off the streets of orchard road.
it is sitting nicely on my left arm... but somehow it has this burning sensation that's constantly bugging me. i do not know how i will react should there be a skin allergy on my part. though i'm pretty sure my first.. and foremost wish is to totally amputate my arm.
right.
today was a great day. i got all my tutorial timeslotS!!! hahaa.. i have company for all my tutorials... psychology, social work, japanese A and japanese B with huiyi, chinese with yanting and crime fiction with zhengmei! only japanese C is... a one man show. haha...but i'm grateful enough. 4 day week.. long weekend.. but i have a horrendously long break on wednesday.. 5 hours!!!
right... hahaa...
we had a little gathering today with the appearance of some whom i haven't seen in... ten years! ok.. just two.. basically valerie and faith. the rest were me, shu, wan, siva, bingren and ben... then nez was super late.. haha. .chuan couldn't come in the last minute. haha.
instead of going to the pre-proposed yuki no yaki steamboat buffet restaurant.. we ended up in the foodcourt instead... then we went off to takashimaya.. for the tattoo crap.. which i immediately regretted after it was done.. and then we went to wisma's coffee club xpress. we even met priscilla chan, a channel 8 star. she's quite pretty in person.. and they all took photos with her.. faith, bingren (who didn't even know who she was) and valerie.. with val's photo and my phone.. ah.. the good thing about having a camera phone.
then.. nez who came late..went for the tattoo as well. hahaa.. tattoo day!!!
right..i can't write anymore.. my hiragana assignment's half written.. i forgot all about my crime fiction readings.. i'm so dead.
and i still feel weird about my arm. damn.
listening to: s.h.e -- superstar
the moment
at this very moment
i looked back at myself
all the scenery that passed on my way here
how enchanting, how intriguing
at the next moment
where would i be flying to?
the raincoat that's gradually overcome by fatigue
will give you more courage
leave me without any worries
i will always remember this moment
and those unbelievable dreams that are still soaring in the air
the sky after the rain
will have the most beautiful rainbow
just like the belief that we hold so dearly
the fact that we will find freedom
at this very moment
time has become a luggage
accompanying me through this trip
as we fly past the sorrows and joys of life
because of you
i can see myself more clearly
my steps forward has become even more determined
in the face of unknown fear
leave me without any worries
i will always remember this moment
and those unbelievable dreams that are still soaring in the air
the sky after the rain
will have the most beautiful rainbow
just like the belief that we hold so dearly
the fact that we will find freedom
i just went for a long trip... not into hiding
you must take care of myself
don't ever forget
those precious moments that passed you
leave me without any worries
i will always remember this moment
and those unbelievable dreams that are still soaring in the air
the sky after the rain
will have the most beautiful rainbow
just like the belief that we hold so dearly
the fact that we will find freedom
listening to: sun yanzi -- the moment
better
i've just updated my chinese diary... well.. with a rare light-hearted entry. about the good mood that develops while being in a very... delighted mood.. i guess it's because of the picture... ( go take a look) .. which shows a very big and spacious grassland and a girl... standing there all alone.. with her dress swaying in the wind (that's stefanie sun yanzi by the way)...
looks very much like a form of escape into the arms of mother nature isn't it?
sometimes... comfort comes best from the surroundings.
green grass... breezy winds... gentle clouds.... the fresh air.. doesn't it make you feel like flying??
ah....
listening to: sun yanzi -- the moment
monochrome
Maybe it wasn't there to begin with
that fun, sad, and kind story.
Maybe it was a dream or illusion.
Maybe I slept too long.
In the season when I can feel
the smell of summer in the blue sky
I remember a face.
The scenery of the city began to distort
I searched for sunglasses
so I could lose all the colors.
What I wanted to be?
Not a princess.
What I wanted to have?
Not glass slippers.
What I wanted to be?
I wanted to be with you.
What I wanted to have?
Was your smiling face.
The wind and the smell of summer
cut through today's sky.
It's ok so I agreed
Because if it's fate like we said
then we can meet again somewhere.
It's ok so I agreed.
Because I'm so strong.
listening to: hamasaki ayumi -- monochrome
lectures
...nope.. not the reprimand kind. the ... sit-in-a-lecture-theatre-and-rot kind. 3 in a row... psychology..followed by crime fiction then japanese.
well.. psychology was really fun. the lecturer was witty... and really funny! psychology itself is a subject which i'm really interested in... though the research and statistics part will eventually drive me crazy... cognitive perspective, psychodynamic perspective... psychoanalysis, gestalt psychology, structuralism, functionalism, behavourism, socio-cultural perspective.... sorry i'm just trying to show off. i don't get most of it yet. haha...
crime fiction.... was boring. plain boring at the beginning.. but eventually. .it got a bit better. the lecturer's a caucasian, who sometimes crack a few jokes... i guess crime itself appeals more to me.. now i've gotta get the book "the study of scarlet" ... i'm super broke. SUPER broke.
japanese... my favourite language of all times. but my handwriting is horrible. i can say i write beautifully in chinese.. .but for japanese? it's ugly.. literally. and it gets a bit boring.. cuz they are teaching really basic things..like ohayo gozaimasu and stuffs.. which i've come into contact with thanks to all the japanese dramas and utada hikaru, hamasaki ayumi, chemistry and co. but.. i must go through a formal education in this.. so i'm going to bear thru it all...
couldn't go for my cello practice today.. .cuz i fell sick. i guess it's because i didn't really sleep well these few days.. so it got a bit bad.. then i couldn't go the jam and hop session at the newsroom bar too.. sadded...
and i had the weirdest dream. i was brought to iraq (!) as a spy... something like being held captive. i'm crazy.
listening to: hamasaki ayumi -- monochrome
blue blue sea
ah.... and i wish to drown in it.
float...float somewhere.
i just uploaded a very...agitated entry on my chinese diary. i can't help it.
i just....sigh.....snapped.
listening to: david tao -- sha tan
bleeding
i just got my gd88... and the only feeling i got..was.....
my heart's bleeding. and profusely at that.
it was so expensive.. for it's brand new.. my heart went blank.
but my sis was so nice..forking out 250 bucks for me.
i love you!!!
i'm all floating listening to the new version of the song "sha tan" by david tao....
let me fly...
listening to: sha tan(guitar acoustic) -- david tao
versus
yesterday...i've finally started on my first cello lesson! my fingers almost broke from all the stretching and my brain almost exploded from all the "relaxing"... (seemed to work the other way round).
firstly.. why did i want to give up my former instrument for cello? ok.. it wasn't easy... really.. even though i sucked at it totally.. i was a soloist.. and for a soloist to give up her instrument.. it ain't an easy decision to make.
i've always like cello.. for i've wanted to join a symphony orchestra...before i eventually fell in love with chinese orchestra. i've always liked the sound of the cello.. low... deep... sensual.. and it has the effect when playing really sorrowful songs... (sorry i've always like tragic stuffs). and then.. haha.. guess what.. jay chou plays the cello too! ok.. this reason seems a little shallow.. but... hey.. i really do like it and willing to learn!!
nusco's cello instructor is mr. lee... also the cello instructor of rvco... he's famous for being strict.. so imagine my horror when i first stepped in yesterday... i always melted in fear. but the glad thing was... he was really nice! so that pretty much got my heart beating again. i think he knows i was from rvco but not my section.. haha.. that's good since a senior told me he would probably preach about instru-switching.
mr. lee first taught us how to hold the bow. there were two other freshies.. but they were originally from the cello/bass section... i was the only one who was totally clueless! that pressured me alot.. thank goodness... mr. lee was very patient.. always telling me to relax my hand and arm...
that was the biggest problem! i had to STRAIN to think about... how should i relax?! first.. he told me to relax my fingers... my thumb... then my wrist.. then my elbow... then my shoulder.. then my back.. then my mind. by the time he got to "my mind"... i was like... "ok... how do i relax my mind?!" ...and while wondering.. he suddenly said " yes! that's it!" .. then i was like.... eh..... huh?! hahaha... relaxing's.... never been harder.
he commented my fingers were rather tight.. so now i'm doing hand exercises....twisting my wrist whenever my hand's free from doing anything. haha... and now i must start familarizing myself with the scores.. cuz i could hardly read them! hahaha....
BUT.... if dizi section has less people than expected...i may have to go back. but i do not want to give up my cello.
it's a whole interest versus responsibility problem.
let it resolve itself.
i know i've always lacked determination to win...
time to change?
time to change.
listening to: anson hu feat. ronald cheng -- di yi ci
leaf
leaves...are wings that has forgotten how to fly.
wings... are leaves that has been left in the sky.
heaven... should never have been a dream.
but i have long forgotten how to fly.
loneliness.. is the merry-making of a loner.
merry-making... is the loneliness of those who seek happiness.
love... started out with companionship.
but i have long forgotten who was with me.
i enjoyed my meals alone.
i travelled the world alone.
occasionally stopping here and there.
i read my books alone.
i wrote my letters alone.
occasionally talked with myself on matters of the heart.
but where has my heart gone?
why is it that even i can't see clearly?
i think it wasn't just you that i lost.
leaves...are wings that has forgotten how to fly.
wings... are leaves that has been left in the sky.
listening to: ah sang -- ye zi
deep river
the lines which i gently carve with the movement of my fingertips
it seems like it's joining up the broken points
is that the path i took to get here?
or is the path i will take in the future?
the two persons brought together by the linking of lines
finally reached the sea and as one from now
thus i'm not afraid at all
countless rivers are flowing at the same time
there's no need for a reason
just like the name that they possess
accepting everything that there is
there's actually no need for this
our pain has flown away
i did not give you the sword
so that i can experience the impacts of a fight
how can i protect anyone while i'm still facing such a dilemma?
you've changed so much
as you slowly appear before me
right now i'm searching for you
you wish to be accepted all the time
there's actually no need to be so
because everyone's given their own sword
the flow of the river that changes with time
empty hands
just like the name they possess
accepting everything that there is
there's actually no need to do so
the birds are soaring in the path of the sea breeze
listening to: utada hikaru -- deep river
kill me
ah.. what do you get when you put loads of problems and troubles and a desire to purchase a GD88 mobile phone?
me. you'll get me.
i'm so disturbed.
listening to: lin you wei -- na tiao jie
run
it never really left my eyes. it never did.
what else could i have done?
i could only lie there... and see you walk away.
i couldn't breathe. i couldn't tear.
i couldn't cry. i couldn't think.
i felt like... i was falling into a deep deep whirlpool.
it took all my life away.
i was grappling with the facts.
i was struggling with the pain.
but you never came back.
never even turned around.
it came too fast. it caught me by surprise.
i'm so broken.
and so, i began to run.
run away from everything.
from you. from life.
i couldn't stop. i mustn't stop.
i was buried in my own sweat.
or was that tears?
oh.. so it did leave my eyes.
listening to: jay chou -- ai qing xuan ya
if "bored" can even explain
nothing can aptly describe the way i'm feeling now.. let me see.. right now, at this moment, i should be in school.. for the freshmen inauguration ceremony. but no.. i'm not. i'm sitting in front of my over-worked computer, happily typing away and blasting jay's album.
then.. tomorrow.. i oughta be around singapore.. doing flag day. but no.. i foresee i will not be doing that. i would still be in front of my even more over-worked computer by then, happily typing away.. and STILL blasting jay's album.
then then.. friday.. i oughta be in school.. and around singapore i guess.. for the i-wonder-why-it's-named-like-that rag day... but no.. i foresee i still won't be doing that. i would STILL be repeating everything i just said. especially the jay part. haha
right.. i'm forever stuck in some dilemma. let's take a look at the wonderful list.
1.to dye my hair as mayday's a-shin or not.. cuz i'm afraid i need to go daily treatment after it or i'll go bald.
2.to join nusco or not.. cuz i'm not sure if i wanna try something new or go back to my roots.
3.to buy a ibook or not.. cuz it's so bloodily beautiful but the compatability is such a big problem.
4.to get GD88 or not... cuz whenever i look at my jay wallpaper on my 6610.. i have second thoughts. but the thought of having a phone that jay advertised for is equally tempting. plus it looks like a jap phone.
voila. and that's currently the problems i'm facing.
solutions anyone?
listening to: jay chou -- ai qing xuan ya
mayday.. mayday.. mayday
pardon me for my ranting of mayday... i've finally found their song
wu zhuang on the net.. and boy am i excited! i've been looking for it since i first heard it on their comeback conference on azio tv on 25/07.. imagine my pain when all i could do was to sit by the tv and pray that the mv will come on if i wanna listen to it! but the thing is.. i can only find the mv.. it was 38.5 megs.. took me around 30 mins.. for a 3.51 min song~!
ah.. the price i'm willing to pay for mayday. i'm contemplating translating the lyrics.. but.. as usual.. a-shin's lyrics are often so beautiful and carry so deep a meaning behind it.. i have to go through it and think of the best way to do this.. gotta put more effort into it. haha..
every sunday... i go through a moral battle. no.. actually.. it's between my brain and my legs. every sunday.. when i reach the doorstep of my tuition student... i go through this emotional breakdown in seconds. do i go in? do i run away? pretty sad isn't it? the fact that i have to do this every week to get a measly 110 bucks. i'm giving up my soul. muah ha ha ha ha.
i've gotta make myself sound less sacred.
ah.. blasting away my mayday song makes me feel SOOOOOOOOOO good.
anyway.. by this time.. a cheesecake should have already been done.. staying in the fridge, waiting to be devoured by some cheesecake lover... right, that's me anyway. but i was too lazy to move.
someone KICK me.
listening to: mayday -- wu zhuang
recollection of a pain in the ass
right... today, i've finally recalled the reason why i dislike going to cinemas. at first, i thought it was purely a money issue. unfortunately, while i kick up a fairly big issue against piracy of music(esp. jay chou's)... i don't really feel much for movies... erm.. well.. i'm sorry.. i just happen to relate better with music? my fault?
right.
anyway.. i discovered the true problem just now after 2+ hours, trapped in seat M11 of cinema 4 at tiong bahru plaza, watching angelina jolie kick ass in "tomb raider 2: the cradle of life".
my ass.
nope.. angelina jolie never did kick mine.. but all the time sitting in the same spot... not moving in fear of disturbing others and end up not watching the show.. but seeing a doctor for bruises instead, my ass hurts like crazy. ooooh. i sound crude.. or should i say... my behind?
my god.
in case u wonder who's this.. this is the lead heroine in "kai doh maru". grrrrrl power!
anyway.. the movie was fairly entertaining. i never did really watch the first episode... except glances at the tv while my siblings watch the vcd.. (well.. to my credit.. now i rent them from authorized distributors. kudos to me.). i pretty much enjoyed her accent... but... someone tell me why the chinese dialogue wasn't subtitled?! never has chinese sounded soooooo foreign to me... if anyone figures out EXACTLY what they said.. leave a note ya? and terry's pretty wasted.. and he speak weird english.. let alone chinese!
anyway.. i got the courses i wanted.. psychology, japanese, chinese and social work. well.. i dropped philosophy and changed it to social work in the last minute cuz the bidding was that bad. WAY bad. and i screwed up a friend's. man.. i feel so incompetent. let's not go into it.
went for nus chinese orchestra tea session.. voila! the moment i stepped in... i was pressured. P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E-D. the fact that i haven't touch my dizi in ten years is getting into me. it's biting me and killing me. i was like.. oooooh...someone get me OUTTA here! and the worse part? they have this web committee where members can actually like..contribute writings to the webpage... and.. given my flair for writing (oh please)..
ok. my INTEREST in writing.. i was interested... but the person-in-charge took my email and stuffs.. but i forgot to tell him... i haven't decided if i was going to join. VOILA! ten minutes was all i needed to get myself into another situation again. i seem to really HAVE a flair in this... hmmmm...
listening to: anson hu yan bin -- xiang
fine day
this little flower in the story
it has been floating around since the day of birth
the swing often played with in the childhood years
is still in motion along with the memories
playing the verses, staring into the sky
i recall of the petals trying to fall
the day i skipped school for you
the day the flowers wilted
that particular classroom
how is that i cannot see?
the rainy day that disappeared
how i wish to be in the rain again
surprisingly, i still hold the courage of losing
with the desire of asking again..
"would you wait? or would you leave?"
the day the wind came
i tried to hold your hand
but the rain just got heavier til i could see you no more
how long will it take before i can get to you?
perhaps i'll get better by the time the rain stops
long long time ago
someone loved you so deeply
but the wind just made the distance grew
finally it was possible to love another day
but it seemed, at the end , you still said goodbye
listening to: jay chou -- qing tian
caged
by now.. i've fully understood what it means to be binded by some pathetic system... and trust me, i'm totally exhausted from it.
the bidding of modules system of nus.. ah.. i would love to see the ingenious one who came up of this pathetic idea...a vicious competition where blood suckers play show hand...bloody hell..
this is so irritating...
listening to: jay chou -- qing tian
