last day of 2004
i'd actually planned to write a lot. then i'm too lazy.. geez.
so many things to do in so little time...
1. visit my sis at sgh
2. korean classes
3. stayover at peiying's place
4. check up on shinhwa for tonight's last daesang of 2004
ah~~ haha...
HAPPY NEW YEAR ~
listening to: exile -- be mine
something happy for a change
SHINHWA WINS THEIR SECOND DAESANG ON SBS GAYO AWARDS~~~
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~
SHINHWA ROCKS!!!
obviously no one's looking
the sky never looked so bleak. today is the day that i realize once again the idea... the truth and the hard cold fact that life... is fragile. it breaks so easily... you don't even know when.
it has been a year... since my sister recovered from cancer... and now it's back. i don't know why. i don't know how. i don't know even wanna know when. because it doesn't matter anymore. it won't make it go away.. because some things are just so ... there in your face. it blows up and you are caught unaware. she was about to get married. the dinner was booked... the cards printed.. everything was in place... then... it came. i think that's how life goes... you take something for granted when it's peace and all... so peaceful that you forgot what trials and tribulations you went through before coming to this peace.
my mother cried. my father cried. my sisters cried. i didn't. i was always the one around... telling them... hey.. cheer up! everything's going to be okay... don't worry! it will be fine! then i turn around and shed tears. i never cried before them. i cry in school, i cry to friends, i cry at work.. then i regain my composure and i'm able to laugh and smile and cheer my family up.
am i tired? yes. am i losing hope? frankly yes. i have a health checkup tomorrow and i fear the worse. but i want to be healthy. because i don't want my mother to cry. i don't want my father to cry. i don't want my whole family to break down in tears. i'm praying hard. i still have so many things to do. i've yet to be in love, i've yet to see shinhwa.. esp. hyesung in real life... hahaha~~ i've yet to be to tokyo and seoul.. i've yet to be the happiest person in the world.... so many things undone. i don't want to do them without my family members... all of them around me. i want them to see my happiness, judge my fortune and share my joy.
but i'm bracing myself. it'll soon be a new year. a new beginning. and somehow... i believe that things will change for the better. i know. i believe so.
because behind the darkest cloud... there's a silver lining.
listening to: myself
xmas woes and happiness
it's not exactly the best xmas i had. it's bad.. my results are coming out at 11am and i busted one xmas present because the person meant to receive it got it already. hahaa.. that made me really .. i don't.. .feel screwed. i wanted to talk about my first church service (thanks bernie for guiding me along.. REALLY LOST leh~~ haha)... but i'm in too screwed a mood to do so. maybe next time.
merry xmas people!
falling fans
it's the same wrestling game they were playing.. this time versus dongwan.... hyesung looks so cute here... his smile~~ i love it when he smiles... gosh i'm melting. 
it's amazing that my ceiling fan in my room fell on me last night. hahaa.. this morning actually.. at about.. i don't know.. 1 plus in the morning? haha.. i guessed it's just me.. i went to adjust it so that the wind would blow in my direction or something... i was simply feeling too hot.. then the cover hit my arm and flew out onto my sister who was sleeping (she told me she thought she was dreaming) and the blades broke into pieces... gawd. i almost screamed. haha.. i'm so bloody glad i didn't because i would have woken up EVERYONE... haha... so i changed my msn nick cuz i was online at the same time.. and a lot expressed concern over this matter... thanks guys.. whoever asked about it.. haha.. i've always had bad luck so it's like... gee~ i should have seen this coming. haha....
i just got back from my tuition... haha ... it's been a long day and i almost fell asleep.. seriously.. cuz i slept at 2.30 yesterday night.. catching mvs on mtv channel after logging off.. haha.. k i promise i won't do so again~~ got paid today also.. haha .. oooh.. .. MOOLAHS~
man. i wish i don't have to work... i WANT TO QUIT~~ and yeah i'm perming my hair this few days.. maybe wednesday.. then i'm gonna dye it really light.. think my mum agreed.. kekee..CAN'T WAIT.~~!!!
listening to: stefanie sun -- man man lai
camps. campers.
today's work was gruelling.. considering that i have had a long long break... from saturday til monday.. ahaa.. got new work to do.. and IT'S DIFFICULT! even my supervisor agreed.. haha... but i'm glad i had my two new friends... also temporary workers to guide me... we had fun~ and they are nice people... we ended up talking about taufik and sylvester.. i was the only syl supporter! hahaa.. okie i don't really support him like those crazy ones out there do... but then again.. who cares? haha~~~ i was so stressed doing out all the new stuffs that i had a headache.. i had better start secretly packing my panadols into my bag before my mother finds out.. ssshhhhhhhh~~~
went out with nellie... alexis and bake neko... we met for dinner.. can't believe i'm actually going out with my jap class classmates.. cuz it's like.. the last people i was close to because of school work was my jap studies project group.. hahaa... we went for dinner at sakae...talked quite a bit.. almost 2 hours before leaving for some shopping and alexis' bubble tea. we went to taka and GAWD!! there's so many things to buy there!! now i know where to go for my xmas gift exchange programme in the office....
actually i just came back yesterday from a three day music camp in nus... it's actually a five day thing but i gave myself a break and came home early so that i can catch up on all my shinhwa stuffs. especially since they won their first ever daesang in their seven years in showbiz... as shinhwa... gawd~~ all of them were so overwhelmed they cried... esp. hyesung... aWWWWW~~~ i feel for him. haha. there's three more awards ceremony coming so i hope they win more daesangs!!!
anyway.. the camp had been pretty boring actually. cuz not many people were very enthusiastic... except for the few of us.. we slacked... watched movies in the auditorium (finding nemo and monsters inc..i skipped the home alone 2 screening cuz that was simply too repeated to bear). not many people went for supper.. only zhengmei, peiying, jieying and i.. and i thought THAT WAS PATHETIC. it's a camp, people... everybody goes for supper!!!
haha.. i can't really remember what we did.. cuz time passed so slowly.. on the second night.. we were like.. ONLY THE SECOND NIGHT?! haha.. then we had practices... sectionals... movies... ahaha~~ i spent the second night slacking... sue and i were very very tired but we found out that there was network reception at raffles hall.. so we ended up staying til 4.30... talking while i was surfing on her laptop... actually we laughed more than we chatted.. haha~ talking about silly things and knocking on people's doors. haha...
i received a call from the XQRJ people.. asking me and my senior to go perform our competition song and a christmas carol for some sponsor party.. hahaa... we managed to make the original ensemble come down for this... peiying on the piano... jiarong on the guitar... minus christine who went shanghai but jiahui managed to guest play.. haha and i made zhongwei play the carol
have a merry little christmas on jazz piano.. gawd i almost fainted.. I FINALLY COULD DO JAZZ ON STAGE~~~ the gig was at sheraton towers... haha won't touch too much on it cuz it's not interesting at all.
later that night, jiahui and i went back for our anniversary celebration.. surprisingly.. everyone was very enthusiastic about the games.... they were silly but really fun... although my president almost broke my back for hitting me too hard in one of the games.. he said he was too nervous.. GEE~ ... and after the whole thing... we took the stage and did my rendition of the jazz xmas song... i felt like a star.. and i was finally doing jazz...
later in the night.. after watching monster's inc... we went to peiying's room with all the leftovers from the buffet earlier on and had another round of fun.. haha.. only nianzhong, peiying, sue and i managed to stay til the end.. the rest knocked out early... we talked about lotsa things and really had fun...
i like the music camps.. haha.. i guess i can hate co but i still love the camps.. haha~~
listening to: dj sammy -- heaven (candlelight remix)
SHINHWA HWAITING!!!
THEY WON THEIR FIRST DAESANG IN SEVEN YEARS AT THE SEOUL GAYO AWARDS..
MAN SHINHWA ROCKS!!!!
thanks for making my day
this is hyesung versus eric during a game show, where they had to wrestile each other. i'm loving this picture so much because they look so ready to give each other a run for their money and REALLY FIGHT IT OUT. well.. of course my hyesung won. eric looked tough but hyesung looked calm and steady. muah hahahah.. if u watch the vid itself.. this scene's got lotsa impact. HYESUNG ROCKS!
well well.. it's been a long long time since i made a very decent post. a long and concrete one about my life at the going. haha.. it's been hyesung, hyesung and more hyesung. but i loved them. haha.. cuz i have a love interest and i want the world to know about it. ALL ABOUT IT. haha...
but basically this post is to thank some of the people who have made my day.. especially yesterday. haha.. .first up... we have... *ta da da da*... lady pissy~!! i wanna say thanks for indulging with me in our yo bo talk... my life would have been less interesting if you were less involved. glad you are soooo engrossed and so that it looked like it was YOU who went crazy when in actual fact, it was me who started the whole thing. haha.. what an evil ploy.. but you love it too right? hahaha... so let's enjoy this~~ and may your passion live as long as mine.. cuz i foresee myself getting caught in this whole frenzy FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
next up... my boss... richard. can i say that he's one of the nicest people around?! not only did he cut me shinhwa's clippings.. he also gave me so many mayday stuffs!! i met him for lunch at novena square yesterday and he not only brought me two mayday posters.. one of them was even autographeD~!! oh my god... AND he gave me two mayday's album.. on top of the mayday latest album i was buying from him.. oh man... i'm gonna write so many songs and submit to him...hahaa... til his office floods. haha.. U ROCK MAN~
and finally.. the one guy whom i believe i've never talked about to many people out there. haha.. now that the whole thing has blown over.. i'm gonna share this really funny story with everybody.
one day.. one fine fine day (gawd i can't even remember when it really is).. i checked into my friendster account and there there was .. a personal message from someone i don't know (oh geez. i don't even remember the name now!) .. but anyway.. he said he wanted to know me and stuffs.. and eventually he said he's attracted to me and wanted to meet me.. asking me for my handphone number.
oh geez. that was flattering... the first time ever someone said he's attracted to me... but it got a little unnerving eventually when he said he wanted to meet and stuffs.. asking me to give him chance.. saying that maybe he would want me as a girlfriend after our first meeting.. WHAT? i look desperate to have a BOYFRIEND?!
haha.. then he disappeared and yesterday he showed up on my msn.. asking who i was.. i told him i was someone he played a prank on in friendster.. he stumbled a while and eventually said.. it wasn't a prank and he was indeed attracted to me.. and asked if i would give him a chance.
you ask someone whom you last said you were attracted a few months ago... asked who she was on msn.. find out who she was and ask if she will give you a chance again? THAT FEELS SOOOOO COMPLETELY RANDOM. hahaa.. i kept saying no.. and he finally gave up.
am i attracting .. (if i really AM ATTRACTING SOME PEOPLE) .. the wrong people? if these are the kind of people who would hit on me.. i'd rather be left alone. I'M HAPPY ALONE. THANKS.
haha.. but i still wanna thank that person for giving me something to laugh about. really. whenever i feel demoralised.. or self-diminishing.. i will just think of him.. excluding how laughable the whole idea was.. and just concentrate on the "i was attracted to you" part... that is such an ego booster.
but i still love hyesung more. keke~
listening to: shinhwa -- brand new
i'm sick...
...for moolahs.
sobz.. because i'm sick.. i don't wanna post hyesung up.. cuz he's always sick too. hahaa...
work has started and it NEVER got harder. it's soooo boring that i'm always falling asleep.. plus i don't get my own table so i can't post up my shinhwa~~ oh man that PISSES ME OFF so much...
but anyway... before my moolahs come... i've already planned what to do ...
1. perm my hair < -- yes. perm my hair. for my sister's wedding on january 30th. OH I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!!
2. new handphone <-- i'm thinking of LG cuz it's a cheaper korean alternative. and i heard it works well.
3. clothes <-- this is so necessary.. cuz i need new clothes to complement my soon-to-be permed hair.
4. shinhwa's concert <-- i have to save up for this. THEY'D BETTER COME.
5. shinhwa's winter story 2004 album
6. hyesung's solo album <--WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~
haha.. yep.. this is the list so far..
MAN I CAN'T WAIT.
oh i'm still so sick.. where's my yo bo?!
listening to: jj -- hai pa
shinhwa wins 5 awards in 2 days.. yoo hoo~!! shinhwa hwaiting!
a better turn of events
hyesung~ in specs. man i have a glasses issue.. i simply fall for people who looks soooo good in glasses...
it's been a tired day. but a happy one... yeah guys... don't be confused by my previous entries!! hahaha...
pissy came to my place today for shinhwa stuffs.. but before that.. we went to marina square.. shopped at the factory outlet store and FINALLY added two abercrombie tops to my wardrobe.. adding on to that was a green long-sleeved top from samuel and kevin which i bought the day before.. it has the bohemian tinge to it... i loved it~ would have loved to get the skirt as well... but then... oooh. my wallet will burst.
anyway we had lunch at kenny rogers.. man i haven't had that in a thousand years.... i missed mac and cheese~!! but they didn't have it today... argh~ oh anyway it's so fattening, it's better that i DON'T TOUCH IT. then we spent the WHOLE afternoon watching shinhwa's programme clips, music videos and stuffs... haha.. believe me.. now that i have 15 CDRs... i can spend the whole afternoon.
then i met up with a new friend over the net... ying ying... who has been so nice to burn shinhwa's two concert tours for me~~~` muackz~~~ i'm receiving so many nice stuffs from people around these days~!! then i had dinner with my parents and my sister....
it's quite confirmed my mum's buying my gown for me.. i tried on a pink one... a shimmering one.. very princess-y. but I'M TOO FAT. I NEED TO DIET FIRST. my goal is to lose at least 5 kg before early january. GIVE ME THE DETERMINATION I NEED~!!!
and another thing that i'm buying soon.. the new giordano trench coat. i missed theirs last time.. i missed esprit's... i missed s&k's...
nothing can stop me now. even the price tag at 79 bucks.
listening to: spice girls -- holler
sometimes we are fooled
sometimes... we sit before our memories and then we realized that all that pass was nothing more than illusions.. nothing more than fragments of our own imagination. we run after it... we lived with it... and we looked on as they turn into pieces of useless pictures that are left in our brains and minds... as a kind of reminder of how pathetic we were.
but then again... the sad and painful ones were probably more than true. you were indeed hurt... you were indeed stabbed so hard that you almost forgot the pain. and then .... there are your tears... they did flow out of your eyes... they did trickle down your cheeks... and they did evaporate into the air eventually. you didn't sob.. they just came out. your eyes turned misty... you couldn't see the world that clearly during those moments... then you finish.. and your sight never got better. you see the landscapes.. you see the world like you've never did before.
then you realized that you grew up and looking back... the happy memories never really existed did they? but somehow they seemed so real. you must have dreamt them into life but nevertheless, you are happy and glad.
that's what's most important isn't it? even if they were virtual... as long as they keep you alive...
listening to: hyde -- shallow sleep (english ensemble)
