i'm dreaming my life away..caught in this web of unfounded hopes and impossible realities. i've been telling myself that... i should wake up by now.. but yet.. everyday i fall deeper into this whirlpool.. unable to relieve myself of this burden.
what am i hoping for? what do i want to see coming out of it?
i can't tell.. for i have no idea what i myself wants anymore.. it's hard for me to break away totally from this.. i know i need to get away but yet i face it so often. at the face of it.. i can't leave.. i can't just turn away. it always catches hold of me and makes me weak in the knees everytime.
it hasn't destroyed me. it wouldn't.. i'm very sure of that at least. but yet again.. it clouds my heart and my determination to stay out of this. it takes time to build it up again..
i don't know.
listening to: zhang z-chen -- huan ri xian
whatever you want here
