a problem.
when a problem surfaces... or rather, it doesn't even have to surface to know that something is wrong.
suddenly.. things change. it happens so suddenly.
something look like it's going to happen. but it didn't. or perhaps it tried to happen.. but one of you stopped it from happening. nipped it off at the bud. stop. period.
or maybe it's just a fragment of the imagination. your imagination has run wild. perhaps nothing was even going to happen in the first place. if it did.. you ignore all signs that were trying to get to you. build up a wall and run. that's what u do.
no more words exchange.. no more looks.
wow. how things change in 24 hours.
listening to: nothing
uncertainty is more beautiful still
while that's true.. uncertainty makes u extra nervous as well.
well well.. face so many uncertainties in a day..
1) my rock records contract.. dragging and dragging.. some people are still discussing for extra stuffs. who knows.. maybe i don't get to sign it at all. (oops.. TOUCH WOOD)
2) MY EXAMS. well well.. that's really what every student is uncertain about right. (unless of course... for straight a people.)
3) my appearance. hahaa.. hmmmz.. my weight is increasing~! i will grow fat again!
hmmmz.. i think i have more. but i can't recall.
wah. it rhymes
listening to: shinhwa -- deep sorrow
it's all about love
... a french production which i don't really know what it's all about. i seem to get it. but then again.. i seem not to get it.
this movie stars joaquin phoenix (john) and claire danes (alena)... and even sean penn.. whose appearance in the end of the movie.. speaking to the phone with no one on the line totally baffles me.
alena and john have been married for quite some time.. but they seldom see each other.. one based in paris.. the other, a renowned ice skater based in new york. one day.. john flew to new york to sign divorce papers with alena.. but he realized that alena is stuck in a conspiracy.. where her household has decided to "clone" alena for she's comtemplating retirement due to poor health.. but that's a big no-no.. since the rich household depends solely on her to bring in the money.
john thus decides to save alena from all these.. and ends up falling in love all over again with the woman he's about to divorce...
it's a nice.. sad.. story. haha. this is the story which i made up.. it perhaps isn't even THE plot. haha.. it's like a subtler version of matrix... matrix minus all the effects... everything flows with a very weird sense of coherence. haha.. i LOVE stuffs like that.
the ending.. is sad. alena and john.. wanting to get away.. was stuck in the snowland.. alena died because of a heart failure.. while john stayed with her and collapsed in the snow... when the snow started falling while alena breathed her last..."so i'm still going to be a white bride." .. her dream ever since falling in love with john again.. sob.
and as sean penn was talking behind.. as john lay beside alena in the snow... he says " john.. are you listening? i know you are somewhere out there.. sleeping maybe. Sleep well, john."
how sad. how ironic.
and this explains the change of my layout to something dreamy.. something white.
listening to: shibasaki kou -- ikutsuka no sora
the last samurai
despite what some critics say about it.. that it's just another tom-cruise-looking-cool movie.. i beg to differ~! i must say i've really enjoyed it and from my point of view.. doing japanese studies while watching this movie has made me feel more towards this show... oh yes and it contains spoilers... once again.. if u've watched this.. scroll down. if u haven't.. and not planning to.. scroll down..
once again..i cried so much.. it just stirs the same emotions that i had while watching LOTR.. the honor of fighting to death what you believed in.. what you think is right.. what you treasure and love.. it was middle-earth then.. it is the samurai spirit this time.. i cried when nobutada and katsumoto died.. when hiken told algren "ikanaide" (i don't want you to go).. when the soldiers went down on their knees, commemorating the honourable spirit of katsumoto... when everyone fought to their last breath...
it would be so hard to imagine.. how do you hold on to the idea of dying for honour and when the emperor wants you to? u serve one person.. u follow him to that extent.. i guess it's hard to imagine.. and it's not just in the movie ... it's real.. and that's where my jap studies material come in and i can feeel stronger ..
the soundtrack is wonderful.. hans zimmer always does his magic.. and this apparently is his 100th score.. haha.. nice way to mark an ending.. i bought it and am listening now.. super nice and affecting..
another nice thing about the movie.. is that the love scenes were pretty subtle.. taka is one of my fav actress (koyuki).. she can do serious and funny roles too.. pretty versatile.. and i like the whole aesthetic feel of the japanese way of life.. perhaps that's really what draws me to them.. why i really like the japanese way of living.. the new and modern part of cuz doesn't really relate to this anymore.. but it still does exist.. one way or another.. and they have the best ideologies about a lot of things...
i guess.. something which really hit a chord in me.. is the idea that.. it isn't about who you are fighting with.. it's about what you are fighting for.. the image of katsumoto and algren riding and fighting side by side... it's so inspiring.. contrasting yet reasonable at the same time..
nice.. and of cuz tom cruise.. i guess he did act pretty well.. bringing out the struggles within algren.. heart-wrenching sometimes.. how people are always left with no choice over what they do..
listening to: the last samurai -- idyll's end
the wonders of english
... and english plainly refers to the british accent.. which specifically belongs to ewan mcgregor. .my current .. i won't say squeeze.. in fact i can't.. cuz he's not my boyfriend.. but whatever... ahaha.. okie.. my current favourite male actor from the other side of the Earth.
well well.. watching him sing on moulin rouge is a pleasure.. boy he can sing.. i've never watched the show before despite all the hoo-ha over it last time.. and this time i still didn't watch it.. okie .. at least i did watch half.... his singing is wonderful.. crisp and clear.. and pretty strong too.. wow... i looooooooove guys who can sing...
anyway.. if u guys have any chance..do watch him on
nightwatch... first saw him on this show.. he's a law student trying to make ends meet by doing the night shift at the local morgue (thus the title).. soon... bodies start disappearing....
ooh. sounds nice huh? hahaa.. i'll be watching
big fish because of one line that he said... "i love you and i will marry you!".. man. his accent makes it sound sooooo good...
anyway.. thanks peeps~! for giving me so many suggestions on the contract stuffs... someone told me it's a must to sign.. so all my considerations were pretty wasted.. haha ^_^||| ...so now i've gotta start listening to more songs.. like.. 5566.. hhaa.. they have good songs really.. except that i hate them.. but i welcome good songs anytime. haha
listening to: boa -- be the one
valentine's day
well..it's late..but heck~
just somehow..i'm reminded of something which happened eons ago. how should i say it... i was..young..blinded by my own foolishness..and unwittingly hurt someone else. i knew what was going to happen i guess...but i didn't stop it. it was right in front of me..and i didn't stop it. not that i would definitely have changed everything.. but i didn't try do anything.
well... let's change the subject. haha.. valentine's day.. yet a lousy day.. i missed out so much fun with candy & co. ... because of co practice.. ^__^||| sadded.. well after that.. went ktv with my co pple.. wah.. discovered a good voice in a male senior.. next time my demos can make him help me. haha
which brings me to the current dilemma i'm facing.. haha.. should i or should i not.. haha.. i'm now facing a contract by rock records as a songwriter.. but that means i cannot join competitions after that.. argh. help~! haha..so should i or should i not?
valentine's day. makes me smile yet sad at the same time. haha
listening to: penny dai -- fang...kong dong
all that was. all that is. all that will be
been so long since i last updated.. got lotsa things to write~! hahaa..
last saturday..finally had the finals.. i want to specially thank my sa01s86 kakis and my 2E pple... thanks sooo much for coming to support me.. i didn't win anything but.. ur support gave me a lot of .. strength~! haha.. god knows how much i trembled on stage.. haha.. k.. a treat is a must wor~!
it's quite an experience altogether... studio recordings.. on stage..i miss the stage..the applause..the audience. hah it's indeed addictive...
listening to: penny dai -- fang...kong dong
a sorta fairytale
on my way up north
up on the ventura
i pulled back the hood
and i was talkin to you
and i knew then it would be
a life long thing
but i didn't know that we
we could break a silver lining
things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl had come undone
i tried to downplay it with a
bet about us
you said that
you'd take it as
long as i could
i could not erase it
and i ride along side
and i rode along side you then
and i rode along side
til you lost it there in the open road
and i road along side
until the honey spread itself so thin for me
to break your bread
for me to take your word
i had to steal it
way up north i took my day
all in all it was a pretty nice day and i
put the hood right back where
you could taste heaven perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back and i
i don't
didn't think
we'd end up like this
and i'm so sad
like a good book i can't put this
day back
a sorta fairytale with you
a sorta fairytale with you
listening to: tori amos -- a sorta fairytale
