i exchanged daniel radcliffe for a bowl of piping hot pig's spine meat soup... not that it tasted bad... but the idea is silly. downright silly.
well i guess for the rest of june and july.. i shall stop meeting up with anyone or any groups of friends after my work... it just doesn't work out after too many tries. most of the time we meet at a time too late for me and too early for others... if they even remember in the first place. i don't have that much time to go home but yet too much time to wander around. so... exclude me people.. EXCLUDE ME.
secondly... i actually feel guilty not going home to my mother's cooking. too much tv perhaps.. but the idea of my mum and dad having dinner with another each other for company sounds lonely.
and today i found out that i quite enjoy eating alone. no need to wait for anyone.. no need to have everyone's decision and i can eat anything i like. take my lunch for example.. i sat through it with mates whom only one i could communicate with... one of them whom i particularly don't have any positive feelings about... said things that left me speechless. she said "you will regret not coming to our concert yesterday." ... HOW DO I BLOODY HELL REPLY TO THAT?! so i just ... "oh" and continued with my food. sheesh.
well... then instead of a normal twenty minutes ride home to a wonderful dinner... i took a 30 minutes train ride... spent 1 hour walking around like a living dead.. ate a bowl of spine meat soup then go home. does that sound sensible to anyone? well.. it certainly does not sound sensible to me, at least. which brings me to the point why i should just stay at home and spare myself much agony from time uneventfully wasted.
which also brings me to the realization that i must always turn up early to any event so that i reserve the right to be pissed. but that's pretty silly for me isn't it? considering that i'm the one who gets to suffer. i never had a problem with it. seriously.. not yesterday (really) because something fruitful DID eventually come out of it.
oh well.. guess it's just my luck huh? i'm part of the vicious cycle so i should just bloody shut up.
oh. do i sound sarcastic or bitter in any way? i do? but i think i deserve to be.
I BLOODY HELL DESERVE TO BE.
listening to: myself
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