just got back from dinner with thong, hongjie, qiaoyan, wansi and nankai. not exactly the usual few... and perhaps that explains the whole... funny atmosphere around.
i don't know. is it just me or were things really different? perhaps candy wasn't around... so .. you know... the whole familiar circle changed a bit. and i guess everybody wasn't used to that. during dinner... the thing got a bit bad.. or in fact... from the moment we met .. it got weird.
some hardly breathed a word. some tried too hard.
it wasn't meant to be jinglin gathering... another side of that or whatever. no no no.. it was just meant to be a dinner. a dinner which sincerely... i saw it as a breather for me. i'm sorry.. my illness kept me pretty much at home... i need to go out! but then.. it sorta made things worse. like.. u know.. something at your chest.. u can't get it out.. u can only feel worse.
this is like the clearest sign that convinces me that i should just sit around.. waiting to be called into gatherings. NEVER NEVER try doing one.. especially when the usual fews aren't around.
now i know what the government is talking about when they say "complacency".
listening to: nothing
whatever you want here
