hye sung in a picture taken from the pictorial book that comes with the album.. although he's the lead vocal.. he can't rap and he couldn't really dance until guidance came from his fellow members eventually (hye sung's the first member)... guess having a black belt doesn't mean you are flexiblE~! and the doughnut looks YUMMY~~~~~
it's been a rainy day... social psychology tutorial came to its end.. and today i've won two chocolates as well~! (one's from xinyi.. thank you baby~ *muAcKz*)... both are rittersport... nice~~~ yummy~ social psychology been fun.. but i seldom feel anything for tutorials that's bi-weekly. it's hard to feel anything for it... cuz you don't remember anything from it by the time the next tutorial comes. but then again.. i like them cuz you get to have free time every other week. oops.. which means i'll tend to forget the assignments due the other week.. haha.. oh well..
i spoke in class today when asked about comments on this course... i said stuffs like "well .. now i understand myself and my own actions better now"....
but do i?
i don't.
it's times like this that i transform into a green-eyed monster. i start to get jealous of little simple things that others have and i don't. i envy everyone around me. anyone except me.
i envy those who have such perfect life... everything going well ... everything going smooth.. the way they want it except mine. things don't go well for me. things suck for me in fact. then i start whining... telling everyone i suck then expecting them to comfort me and say nice things in return so that i feel boosted and good.
how fake.. how not real.. and how self-deceiving. only one single friend managed to see that. she told me "i know you are waiting for me to say but i'll tell you it sucks...." ... haha.. no wonder she's my best friend.
but of course... i hate to explore the fact that probably everyone around me is lying to me. perhaps anything nice about me is fake.. untrue. maybe they hate me in secret.. maybe they can't wait to slap me. but i'm not saying that everyone are liars lah. that's not what i mean.
these are the things that leave me confused. mistaken. unclear. lost.
then again... i suck. hahaa.. so it really doesn't matter anymore. what matters is what i do for myself isn't it? what matters is how i feel and what i'm going to do about it isn't it?
self-inferiority complex just grips me so hard sometimes that i can't breathe. then i let it go.. then it comes back. haha...
anyway.. today i've downloaded so many things~! shinhwa's chinese version of perfect man.. it sounds funny enough but at least hye sung's pretty acccurate~! shinhwa's brand new live performance... they ROCK~ it basically is the live dance sequence of the mtv... but it looks even better live.. and they didn't mime.... but because the dance is quite a complicated one... end up only hye sung singing.. the rest just dance. haha.. and shinhwa's deep sorrow live performance~! haha... sooo cool cuz hye sung's high notes are so powerful when live too~!!!
oooh hoooo~~~~
listening to: shinhwa -- brand new
whatever you want here
