my hyesung looking SOOO cute in a cf shoot.... hahaha.. man.. i wanna hug him.
a headache. a fever. swollen ears. these are just normal ailments that strike me all the time. it's no big deal normally. but it's a big deal... A VERY BIG DEAL when they come together during a stats exam. and thus... i did my stats exams with a headache AND a fever AND a swollen left ear. DANG. it's a killer combination and YOU CAN DIE. haha.. i died.
anywayz.. as i move on to what i wanna talk about. it's during exam times that my mind starts to wander and i start to think about all the irrelevant things that are of no importance AT ALL. as mentioned before... my friend is happily attached... and we'll start talking about you know.. love and stuffs. haha.. that was bad. that got me thinking.... then all the yo-bo talk with pissy (i think, pissy only u know what i'm talking about) ... sets me thinking about this more.
finding a boyfriend (and by that i mean someone really permanent....) would be one of the toughest thing that i have to do. i mean... where do you find someone who can appreciate AND understand my humour? hahaha.. that ain't easy baby. i admit that i have one of the weirdest sense of humour and it can get really unnerving for some people. at least i know for singaporean guys.. haha oops.. no offence.. but since young, i've always believed that my special someone is someone overseas. haha.. you know.. people says.. if you hold your chopsticks very high up near the end.. that means you'll be married off very far away... not sure if you guys heard of this before.. but my mum told me this when i was young... i can only hold my chopsticks very high up.... or i can't get my food at all.... and this is where my belief came about... hahaa...
i guess it's only my own fault that i remain like this. haha.. frankly.. i'm not pretty... not like all of the people around me. and to make it worse.. i'm fat. okie. plump.. whichever sounds less degrading. haha.. and i'm totally undescribable.. man i don't know what anyone can find appealing in me. hahaha...
but then again.. even if i CAN find someone... erm.. not very likely.. but let's just assume for the sake of continuing this post... i think i have a serious bout of committment phobia in my blood. i belong to the sort that would think about when he'll break up with me from the very first day we're together. sometimes i want to cry.. am i that pathetic that people JUST have to approach from nowhere and play a sick joke on me? do i look THAT un-loved?
sometimes i think my life sucks. once again.. i'm having this self-esteem issue. i always asked if i sucked that much.. and getting encouraging answers from my friends always make me feel better. but deep down i know i suck. like what.. BIG TIME? hahah... it never bothered me that much.. it's just the time of the day.. you know.. haha.. do i sound pathetic? do i sound like i'm going to die just because no one loves me? hahaha...
don't worry.. i'll be okay after some ramblings.
but everyday... i wait for someone who will tell me why he likes me.
because you are who you are.
i'll wait.
listening: dj sammy -- heaven (candlelight remix)
whatever you want here
