if you're wondering where's my daily dosage of hyesung's pic.. here's why. cuz i'm having a headache. haha.. a bad one.. and despite having a bad one, i'm here updating my blog. i removed hyesung's picture cuz i can't look at anything flashy at the moment. words are fine. pictures are not.
i think my head's spinning because my psychology modules are killing me. oh and at the same time my secretary duties are adding on to it. you know.. it's pathetic when i have to write in my blog every other day and complain about my committee... my job. it re-establishes the fact that i have a sucky job. and such aversive reinforcements will only make me feel worse. make me more certain that i'm stuck in some really hellish stuffs. oh and guess what... I AM STUCK. no one helps even when i asked. no one bothers. those who did only helped in bit. i appreciate it really... i do. but i wish you'd do more. oh and perhaps I DON'T DESERVE help cuz i never helped much in my life. wow. i'm pathetic. yes slap me.
i was doing my schizophrenia chapter today and i sometimes worry if i'm getting it. paranoid schizo... disorganized schizo... am i going crazy? i think so.. sometimes i get delusional. i stare in space and i wonder how someone gets hallucinations... it's gonna be really real that you can imagine someone standing in front of you and talking to you. then i wonder if i'll get it one day. maybe i will. or maybe i am having it already.
am i delusional? i don't think so. or maybe i'm delusional enough to think that i don't have it. i'm dreaming...i'm crazy.. i think about success in life. i'm not meant for it. i'm bloody not meant for it. i think about good things happening to me.
i am delusional. haha.. okay. pardon my ramblings. my headaches induce weird behaviours all the time.
and after realizing that when you do a "shin hye sung" on yahoo search, my blog pops up in the first 10 searches.. i think it's going a bit too far. my blog's cluttered... and japanese sounds korean to me. man.
i'm 20 for goodness sake. haha.. okie.. but i guess it'll still continue for a while~!! hahah...
ouch. my head's killing me.
listening to: keane -- somewhere only we know
whatever you want here
