i am devastated

the world has collapsed. the sky is crashing down on.

I PUT ON WEIGHT. FARK.

i need to stop eating.

listening to: tvxq - dangerous mind

how screwed


i am crying because my sister ate my sandwich.


yes you read that right. i am crying because my food got gobbled up by someone under than me. i think this really is the first time that i'm crying over food.


but before you dismiss me as a glutton who's having an emotional crisis, let me explain what sandwich that is.


THAT FATEFUL sandwich costs a farking 6 bucks and it's from where i work. that sandwich is part of my 'reward' for doing the night shift at the cafe. and it's something i'll never buy because it's so freaking expensive but it tastes freaking good. frack.


just now, doing my night shift consecutively for two days ... with tuition and korean lessons in between, i've been waking up early and turning up for work for TWO STRAIGHT DAYS. i'm tired. i'm so tired you have no idea. and i see those sandwiches (actually i brought home two on saturday) as my consolation. little but at least they can justify slightly my late hours.


but i come home with a tired frame to find out that everything was gone. my consolation was gone, my reward was gone, my justification was gone and my little perker after a farking tired shift was gone. faster than i saw it.


my mother BEGGED my sister to eat it. BEGGED my sister to eat something that i didn't bear to eat. i was saving up for tonight, because my shift would end an hour later, and i can eat it while surfing the net.


BUT NO. I ENDED UP SURFING THE NET WITH A FARKING GLASS OF COKE THAT HAS LOST MOST OF ITS GAS AND CRYING.


it's not about the sandwich. it's about... being tired and then realizing that the only perks you got from it are gone too.


i told my mother i'm so farking tired and then my only reward had to be eaten up. she asked me to quit.


yeah i wanna quit. but if i quit, who's going to fund my trip to korea in june? who's going to pay my bills? who's going to...


frack it man. so much for being regarded.


listening to: utada hikaru -- keep tryin'

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jinglin a.k.a seissa a.k.arei.
twentieth september nineteen eighty four
ex-nus, now... somewhere out there
hyesung lover
call me crazy anything but sane

now into: hana kimi & mico! go
deciding if i want a new mobile
love my mummy, daddy, my life
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